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Hints, Tips & Ideas

Tips for Best Man Speeches

Tips for Best Man SpeechesA wedding, while being the ultimate celebration of love between two people, is also one of the most stressful experiences for all those involved - especially the best man. Not only does the poor chap have to organise the stag party, look after the rings and ensure that the groom is there on time, but he also has to prepare a speech for the wedding breakfast.

Writing a best man's speech is all about striking a balance - we all want to be funny and innovative, but if we try too hard we can end up with a speech that is offensive and clichéd. We asked the h2g2 Community for help and below is a wonderful entry that has been culled from their collective wisdom.

Lines

One of the most important things to remember is not to make unguarded comments about any afflictions suffered by family members. For example; try to avoid references to the fact that the bride has just had her wooden leg creosoted in order to avoid rotting while waterskiing on honeymoon. Or that her uncle - the dentist is like a rhino - thick-skinned, and charges a lot! You get the general idea.

Your speech is not etched in stone, so don't be afraid to incorporate events of the big day into your masterpiece. The following story is wise, witty and shows just how creative you can be:

My brother dropped his bride's ring during the ceremony. He was a student rugby player and I was a worker in a jeweller's. This was just after rugby union allowed professional players, so my opening line became:
'I see my brother chose wisely in picking a professional jeweller to be his best man, I just didn't realise he would need a professional rugby player to catch it.'

Another Researcher recalls this classic opening line:

This is the second time today I have stood up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand...

There is a growing trend for people to share the duties of best man and that includes the speech - while you may not be a great stand-up comedian, you may sparkle as one half of a comedy duo - as this account testifies:

I was joint best man for a wedding a year or so back and my co-best man and I cooked up a joint speech, with the pair of us doing sections, but supporting each other with comments flowing back and forth. Everyone there said it was a great speech and that the comedy was hilarious. I opened with the line 'The groom wanted a best man but couldn't find one, so he got two slightly good ones instead' - it brought the house down...

Advice

  • The most important piece of advice for any best man is not to get absolutely plastered before delivering your speech - it's not big, it's not clever and it really isn't attractive - honest.

    The first wedding I went to was cringe-worthy as the best man was hammered and subsequently slurred his way through what was a mediocre speech, thinking he was hilarious, ad-libbing crude jokes. You really felt that it would have been kind to put a sniper in the far corner to put the poor sod out of his misery - sadly this idea only came in retrospect.

  • The speech has to be pertinent so that everyone can understand at least a part of what is being discussed. Sly references to one-off acts of derring-do will probably raise a snigger from the three people involved, but without a little more explanation the rest of your audience is going to miss the point entirely.

  • Some of the greatest best man's speeches are relatively short, prop-orientated and funny for all those present. Flatter the bride, make sure the groom can show his face in public again and whatever you do, don't upset the grandparents...

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